Slowly Breaking

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Jul 3

Everyone found out about my cutting and my reasons to cut. I got sent to the doctor where I got the diagnosis I am depressed, I am being sent to a psychiatrist. I am being bumped up the waiting list as they believe I am suicidal. Since the day where everyone found out and I got a diagnosis I have been worse, cutting more and deeper than I have ever before. Not only do I feel to open but I also feel like I now have to face this. This scares the shit out of me and i dont know that to do. Facing my demons is going to be a fucking hard task. I dont know if I will be able to get through it but I can’t preidct the future. All I know is that I am worse than ever and copeing right now is a hard task & I am struggling.

pain-from-the-inside:

on We Heart It.

Each cut has its own reason

pain-from-the-inside:

on We Heart It.

Each cut has its own reason

Tonight

Today I was walking home from a party and I felt like shit, I’ve been left out from my friends for the last few weeks and my family treat me like shit and don’t even realise I’m fucked. Anyway on the way home I was in a mess, I wanted to kill myself, I planned it all, I planned getting the drink and taking those pills. Instead I did what I have done for the last 3 times I’ve wanted to kill myself, I drank to the point I couldn’t stand up, I lay on the floor, cried and just closed my eyes, imaging that my shitty life wasn’t real and when I woke up it would all be gone. You see I’ve now woke up and my shitty life is still here and I still want to die. I’ve felt like this all 3 times I’ve woke up but there is 1 thing that’s stopped me killing myself and that’s a lad that actually seems to care. I swear to god if it wasn’t for this kid I’d be dead. I just wish he know that he’s the reason I’m alive, but how the fuck do I explain this to him …

deadlydinos:

When straight men are like “but if I share a locker room with a gay guy he might look at me!”

Okay leaving aside the fact that gay doesn’t mean attracted to you

And gay doesn’t mean “lacking in any sort of human decency or inability to prevent staring”

DOES THE THOUGHT OF SOMEONE LOOKING AT YOU IN A SEXUAL WAY, EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE NOT TRYING TO BE SEXUAL, MAKE YOU SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE MY STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND?

DOES IT

DOES

IT

Tonight

Today I was walking home from a party and I felt like shit, I’ve been left out from my friends for the last few weeks and my family treat me like shit and don’t even realise I’m fucked. Anyway on the way home I was in a mess, I wanted to kill myself, I planned it all, I planned getting the drink and taking those pills. Instead I did what I have done for the last 3 times I’ve wanted to kill myself, I drank to the point I couldn’t stand up, I lay on the floor, cried and just closed my eyes, imaging that my shitty life wasn’t real and when I woke up it would all be gone. You see I’ve now woke up and my shitty life is still here and I still want to die. I’ve felt like this all 3 times I’ve woke up but there is 1 thing that’s stopped me killing myself and that’s a lad that actually seems to care. I swear to god if it wasn’t for this kid I’d be dead. I just wish he know that he’s the reason I’m alive, but how the fuck do I explain this to him …